To Know Someone Deeply

[The Stage is on Fire] is a page-turner in which, much like life, there are no easy answers and yet each step of the journey yields insight and hope. This work of heart must not be missed!

Melanie Faith

Creative Writing Teacher, Essayist & Poet.

Katie Steedly’s first-person piece [The Unspeakable Gift] is a riveting retelling of her participation in a National Institutes of Health study that aided her quest to come to grips with her life of living with a rare genetic disorder. Her writing is superb.

The Society of Professional Journalists

In recognition of receiving the Dateline Award for the Washingtonian Magazine essay, The Unspeakable Gift.

I thank you … It is the authenticity of your “class notes”; and it is the delicacy and skill with which you present the nuances of classroom life and the actuality of your students’ and fellow teachers’ lives.

Maxine Greene

Philosopher and Education Scholar

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To know someone deeply is like hearing the moon through the ocean or having a hawk lay bright leaves at your feet. It seems impossible, even while it happens. – Mark Nepo

What I know for sure about knowing and being known.

An Imposter Self

I am blessed to be known and know deeply (not by a lot of people, but by a few). Glennon Doyle writes about an imposter self – a self that we show the world to fit it and numb pain. I, too, have an imposter self. I fight fear and doubt and anger to get beyond my imposter self. In getting beyond my imposter self, in looking straight in the eyes of the pain, I know and am known.

Depth can’t be easily measured.

There is no easy way to measure the depth of relationships: The amount of time spent together. The storms weathered by each other’s side. Sharing similar stories. Family. Indescribable chemistry. Consistency over time. It seems that knowing and being known is a combination of all of those elements. The depth of knowing and being known is determined by the contours of our experiences.

Life can be written in short hand.

When we know someone deeply, and they know us, we can cut through the backstory, the history, the extraneous crap to get to the point of the relationship. Trust is already established. Short hand is both a blessing and a curse. When we speak in shorthand, our truth is exposed. When we speak in shorthand, we say things that sting. When we speak in shorthand, we have to remind each other of the love that lives beneath our words. When we speak in shorthand, humor dances in our eyes and warmth exudes from each syllable.

Miles and years don’t separate hearts.

When we know someone deeply, and they know us, we can pick up where we leave off regardless of miles and years. Hearts that are joined bring joy to one another immediately. Hearts that are joined understand milestones, rituals, and traditions. Hearts that are joined drop everything for each other when needed. Even/especially after trial and tribulation, even/especially when the bonds of friendship have been tested, hearts don’t separate when we are known and know.