The Risk to Be Touched

[The Stage is on Fire] is a page-turner in which, much like life, there are no easy answers and yet each step of the journey yields insight and hope. This work of heart must not be missed!

Melanie Faith

Creative Writing Teacher, Essayist & Poet.

Katie Steedly’s first-person piece [The Unspeakable Gift] is a riveting retelling of her participation in a National Institutes of Health study that aided her quest to come to grips with her life of living with a rare genetic disorder. Her writing is superb.

The Society of Professional Journalists

In recognition of receiving the Dateline Award for the Washingtonian Magazine essay, The Unspeakable Gift.

I thank you … It is the authenticity of your “class notes”; and it is the delicacy and skill with which you present the nuances of classroom life and the actuality of your students’ and fellow teachers’ lives.

Maxine Greene

Philosopher and Education Scholar

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Touch bleeds the heart of its pressure. – Mark Nepo

Touch is risky. Touch is powerful. Touch is not neutral. It can heal and it can hurt. It can comfort and it can cause pain. It can connect and it can isolate. Touch is complex. I want to be a hugger. I want to feel safe walking down the street. I want to touch without the creepy, violent, politically dangerous weight that can come with everyday life, especially life as a woman.

Here is what I know about touch.

Touch is a gift.

Touch is a gift when it is given and received with care. It is a gift between friends or strangers. It is a gift that builds connection. It is a gift that strengthens relationships. It is a gift between intimate partners that builds and reaffirms love. Distinguishing touch as a gift – as something that carries great weight – is important in this world where social media and reality television create a distant, disposable, anonymous, superficial understanding of relationships.

We all have touch stories.

Touch stories are the stories we tell about when we have felt the power of touch in our lives. They can be positive and negative. They can describe welcomed connection or unwanted violation. They can be surrounded in deep joy or profound sadness. That is the truth about the power of touch. It can build up and tear down. Our touch stories stay with us in an incredibly personal way.

Touch is interwoven with power.

Thinking about touch means thinking about power. The power to create a bond. The power to alleviate pain. The power to build up relationships. The power to define roles and control. The power dynamic of touch means we must touch thoughtfully, carefully, and sensitively.

Touch builds intimacy.

Intimacy is perhaps touch’s biggest risk. Intimacy means vulnerability. Intimacy means trust. Intimacy means forgiveness. Touch and intimacy walk hand in hand, eye to eye, heart to heart. Touch and intimacy hold tight to one another during times of profound emotion. That is the risk and reward of touch.