My Cocoon tightens – Colors tease -/ I’m feeling for the Air -/ A dim capacity for Wings/ Demeans the Dress I wear -// A power of Butterfly must be -/ The Aptitude to fly/ Meadows of Majesty implies/ And easy Sweeps of Sky -// So I must baffle at the Hint/ And cipher at the Signs/ And make much blunder, if at last/ I take the clue divine –

Emily Dickinson

What exactly is a chrysalis, that essential element of a caterpillar’s journey? Scientifically speaking, the chrysalis is a distinct developmental stage in which the pupa of a caterpillar develops into an adult butterfly. The childhood structures of the larval caterpillar are broken down and adult features emerge. Butterflies leave the chrysalis as adults, and are immediately confronted with the challenge of using their newly-formed wings. Color and spectacle in place, their wings must be hardened through a process of rigorous flapping so they can take flight. There are no hard and fast rules as to how long a butterfly stays inside its chrysalis. There is no prescribed method by which a butterfly frees itself. However, it is generally accepted by butterfly scholars that breaking free from the chrysalis occurs as a result of a hormonal response within the butterfly. A complete metamorphosis occurs inside a chrysalis.

A profound leap of faith or divine clue is involved in undergoing a metamorphosis. The heart of metamorphosis is fundamental change, when firmament shifts and the world becomes something else. My simultaneous attraction to and aversion to change frames both its sexiness and its stench. The colors tease. The majesty of flight intoxicates. I have learned that when I question the status quo and start to tackle questions of self, faith, mortality, and morality, I open myself up to conflict, both internal and external. I have learned that ambiguity undermines certainty. Standing at the cliff of change, it is often easier to step away from the edge and eat the sandwich packed in my backpack.