We were alone one night on a long road in Montana. This was in winter, a big night, far to the stars.

William Stafford

In the Winter of 1998, I drove across North Dakota and Idaho to live in Bellingham, Washington—a 2,300-mile journey across Winter. Triple A assured us (I traveled with my mother, brother, and two cats) that the northern route along Interstate 94 would be the best way, telling us that it would not get in our way even if it snowed. That trip was my first real lesson in elevation, snow tires and chains, and cold that makes ice burst.

This was a life-defining moment when even the brutalist Winter could not stop me. Uncertainty about what awaits could not stop me. Failure the size of shattered dreams could not stop me. A snowstorm that grounded us in Bismarck for four days could not stop me. A flea infestation, half of my stuff lost by movers somewhere in Nebraska, and my car totaled in an accident could not stop me. “Clean Slate 98” had commenced.

Zora Neale Hurston has written that there are years that ask questions and years that answer. That year — 1998 — was a year that asked questions. In many ways, 2023 has felt the same. Questions about health. Questions about career. Questions about relationships. Questions about home. Big questions in need of big answers. In a world where I know the only certainty is change and that answers live in a liminal space where context, perspective, and truth arm wrestle, 2023 has been a challenge. Making gratitude lists has required me to focus on the most elemental and simple things. Communicating has required me to breathe and breathe again and quiet my thoughts, which continually wake me up in the middle of the night to remind me of every failure I have ever experienced. Managing fear and anxiety has required that I both pay attention in a cruel world and not lose my ability to keep going and do something to ease our collective suffering. 

All that said, I welcome 2024. I welcome the thought that life is a gift. Each day is an opportunity to connect with myself and others. At their best, answers lead to better questions as curiosity weaves a miraculous path. I believe that. It’s not just that I have to believe that as someone who thinks about wide-awakeness and gratitude. I believe that deep in my bones. Paying attention is essential to the miraculous path. Listening is essential to the miraculous path. Taking action is essential to the miraculous path. Staying soft is essential to the miraculous path. 

May gentle answers flow in 2024.