The stuff of our lives doesn’t change. It is we who change in relation to it. – Molly Vass

This passage makes me think of an assignment in a graduate school class many years ago. We were asked to write our Currere. A Currere is an autobiographical reflection on the educational experiences that shape our self-understanding. Within this construct, self-understanding leads to understanding of our world. In looking back, this exercise was the first time in my life where I systematically reflected on the stuff of my life (What I have learned. How I had learned it. Who had taught me., etc.), and what I wanted to keep or change of my stuff. This exercise asked me to define my inner doors – the issues, challenges, blessings, and gifts that were part of my past and present, with a thought to what doors I will choose to walk through in the future.

I framed my Currere in the lesson of The Velveteen Rabbit.

The Skin Horse’s message resonates with me to this day.

“Real isn’t how you are made. It’s a thing that happens to you.  … You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

What I learned about my “stuff” and inner doors from writing a Currere.

Real is precious and sacred. Real moments and Real people are meant to be treasured. We learn from them. I want to suggest that the stuff of our lives – the stuff of our lives that makes us Real – boils down to love. Our ability to love ourselves and others. Opening our inner doors and walking through them is ultimately about learning how to love. Succeeding and failing is ultimately about learning how to love. Our fundamental core being does not change. That is Real. Our perspective can change as we love.