Perhaps the shortest and most powerful prayer in human language is help.

Father Thomas Keating

When we ask for help

We figure out what help we need

Sometimes it is hard to know what help we need. We know we are feeling depressed and upset and anxious, but we aren’t sure exactly why or what exactly to do about it. A general malaise can fall. Asking for help – voicing what we need as best we can – can bring clarity by inviting others in to think through things with us, make the situation a little less isolating and heavy, and build connections to respond to what faces us.

We get real honest.

I can be a queen of distraction. I can be a boss of avoidance. I can be a chief of pride. Those positions often keep me from being honest. They turn away rather than solve conflict. They destroy rather than build up. They confine rather than expand. Asking for help gets beyond distraction, avoidance, and pride. Being honest is the heart of asking for, and receiving, help.

We all need help.

We all need support and guidance. No one does it alone. Boots straps and iron will and a stiff upper lip have never been enough. Not ever. When we dig beneath the surface of meaning and success, we understand we simply need each other. We need shoulders to cry on. We need couches on which to lie and chicken noodle soup. We need ears to hear and mouths to tell us we are loved. When we realize we are part of a deeply connected world, it gets easier to ask for help.

Help is strength.

There is strength in asking for help. Vulnerability is strong. Humility is strong. Compassion is strong. The risk in asking for help is that we open ourselves up to rejection and disappointment. Those risks are huge and can keep us from reaching out. Asking for help is stronger than living in silence. Asking for help allows our capacity to help ourselves and others expand. Asking for help softens our heart. Asking for help allows us to be held.