Making Amends

[The Stage is on Fire] is a page-turner in which, much like life, there are no easy answers and yet each step of the journey yields insight and hope. This work of heart must not be missed!

Melanie Faith

Creative Writing Teacher, Essayist & Poet.

Katie Steedly’s first-person piece [The Unspeakable Gift] is a riveting retelling of her participation in a National Institutes of Health study that aided her quest to come to grips with her life of living with a rare genetic disorder. Her writing is superb.

The Society of Professional Journalists

In recognition of receiving the Dateline Award for the Washingtonian Magazine essay, The Unspeakable Gift.

I thank you … It is the authenticity of your “class notes”; and it is the delicacy and skill with which you present the nuances of classroom life and the actuality of your students’ and fellow teachers’ lives.

Maxine Greene

Philosopher and Education Scholar

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There is hurt and there is love. They roll us through the days like a turtle down a hill. All we can do when on our back is roll one more time and head for the sea. – Mark Nepo

I have really worked on my ability to make amends in recent years. Making amends is right up there with apologizing and forgiveness on my list of important and tough things to do. I have told friends to make amends. I have read articles that tell me how to do it. I have had to make peace when making amends has proven difficult.

Why is making amends so difficult?

Making amends is difficult because it requires that we act confidently. Confidence because we know we don’t need to be right. Confidence because we know we are not perfect. Confidence because we know that understanding is more important than being understood. Confidence because we know and accept our role in failure. Confidence because we have to repeatedly open ourselves up to pain and disappointment.

Are there things for which we can not make amends?

For me, we must make amends in all situations. That is the work of relationships. What does making amends look like in the most difficult situations? Making amends looks like healing. Making amends looks like reconciliation. Making amends looks like justice. Making amends looks like love in action.

Is it easier to make amends with people we know?

The more we know one another the easier it is to make amends. When people are real, and not just people from groups or places or races or religions we don’t know, it is easier to make amends. The more connected we are, the more we understand why things happen. The more we understand why things happen, the easier it is to make amends.

Do we need to keep making amends?

When I was young, I was taught that we need to make amends – apologize, forgive, turn the other cheek. I still believe that. Forgiveness is never a sign of weakness or foolishness: rather, forgiveness is a sign of strength and love, two things that embody the way I want to live. Making amends is strength because it is often harder to find understanding than to create conflict. Making amends is love in that it means we value relationships and connection over power, revenge, and anger.

Is making amends a process?

Making amends is about choosing to live in the future rather than the past. It is is about freedom and happiness and joy; not fear and pain and sadness. When we practice making amends we get better at it. It is about an open hand, not a closed fist. It is about kindness, not cruelty. Making amends does not stop. Making amends is the fierce journey of being gentle with ourselves and others. When we make amends, we take a deep breath and keep going.

https://kitt.global/april-4-making-amends-mark-nepo-the-book-of-awakening/