Self-Confidence

[The Stage is on Fire] is a page-turner in which, much like life, there are no easy answers and yet each step of the journey yields insight and hope. This work of heart must not be missed!

Melanie Faith

Creative Writing Teacher, Essayist & Poet.

Katie Steedly’s first-person piece [The Unspeakable Gift] is a riveting retelling of her participation in a National Institutes of Health study that aided her quest to come to grips with her life of living with a rare genetic disorder. Her writing is superb.

The Society of Professional Journalists

In recognition of receiving the Dateline Award for the Washingtonian Magazine essay, The Unspeakable Gift.

I thank you … It is the authenticity of your “class notes”; and it is the delicacy and skill with which you present the nuances of classroom life and the actuality of your students’ and fellow teachers’ lives.

Maxine Greene

Philosopher and Education Scholar

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It may have nothing to do with me, but if a friend or loved one is sad or angry, I can secretly wonder, What did I do? What can I do? Why didn’t I do it all better to begin with? – Mark Nepo

Psychologist Michael Mahoney defines self-confidence as fidelity to the self. I appreciate that definition. My persistent desire to control, to worry about everything, to own all faults (even those that are not my own), and to carry great amounts shame are not consistent with that definition.

I am left to consider what self-confidence means to me.

What are attributes of self-confidence?

I know self-confidence when I see it. Self-confidence is quiet and deliberate in the way that big cats navigate a savanna. Self-confidence is kind in an I-don’t-gain-at-your-expense way. Self-confidence is smart like a good gambler who uses their cards wisely. I have friends who appear self-confident. It seems like they have healthy boundaries in work and play, are basically joyful and fun to be around, and do the little things that signify their cup is full like faithfully remembering birthdays, handling major stress with grace, and being willing to have real conversations.

When do I feel most self-confident?

I feel most self-confident when I am running. Without question. (My list of when I do not feel self-confident is too long to recount.) Running, which is more like walking right now, is self-confidence in action. If yoga is where I find peace of mind, running is where my self-confidence shines. This might seem strange because running exposes my physical and mental limitations, but that is where the self-confidence comes in. That is where I feel the most fierce. In terms of fidelity to self, in doing things that are truly good for me, in learning about my self and coming out stronger on the other side, that is when I feel self-confident.

How do I bring self-confidence into all areas of my life?

Be still and know. Be still and know that we are constantly learning and growing and in need of huge amounts of slack. Be still and know I am but a grain of sand in this world. Be still and know that gentle is always the best path. Be still and know that truth is foundation of self-confidence.

https://kitt.global/april-14-self-confidence-mark-nepo-the-book-of-awakening/