The Ordinary Art

[The Stage is on Fire] is a page-turner in which, much like life, there are no easy answers and yet each step of the journey yields insight and hope. This work of heart must not be missed!

Melanie Faith

Creative Writing Teacher, Essayist & Poet.

Katie Steedly’s first-person piece [The Unspeakable Gift] is a riveting retelling of her participation in a National Institutes of Health study that aided her quest to come to grips with her life of living with a rare genetic disorder. Her writing is superb.

The Society of Professional Journalists

In recognition of receiving the Dateline Award for the Washingtonian Magazine essay, The Unspeakable Gift.

I thank you … It is the authenticity of your “class notes”; and it is the delicacy and skill with which you present the nuances of classroom life and the actuality of your students’ and fellow teachers’ lives.

Maxine Greene

Philosopher and Education Scholar

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Before fixing what you’re looking at, check what you’re looking through. – Mark Nepo

I have seen an interesting meme several times over the last few months. It has two columns that breakdown validation and hope – and – toxic positivity. I think this distinction is important. As a person who strives to see the world from a positive perspective, I firmly believe in the power of positive thinking. I firmly believe that thinking positively yields positive results. I firmly believe positivity impacts our reality. That being said, positivity must be lived authentically, thoughtfully, and carefully.

What is the difference between validation and hope – and – toxic positivity?

Note: These quotes are taken from the meme about validation and hope – vs – toxic positivity I mentioned above.

Validation and hope says, “This is hard. You’ve done hard things before and I believe in you.” Toxic positivity says, “You’ll get over it.” Validation and hope says, “I know there’s a lot that could go wrong. What could go right?” Toxic positivity says, “Just be positive.” Validation and hope says, “It’s pretty normal to have some negativity in this situation.” Toxic positivity says, “Stop being so negative.” Simply put, validation and hope are built on truth and understanding: the foundation of toxic positivity is judgement and ego.

I have found myself wading in the waters of toxic positivity on many occasions.

Toxic positivity can be a tool of denial. Toxic positivity can be a way to avoid conflict. Toxic positivity can short circuit intimacy. Toxic positivity can perpetrate shame. I turn to toxic positivity when I am uncomfortable with the facts and may not have words. I turn to toxic positivity when I am feeling lazy and do not want to invest in a connection. I have a few things I think about when I am feeling toxically positive: listen more, give feedback only when asked, be gentle and honest, take three deep breaths, create and do not destroy.