We All Spill Soup

[The Stage is on Fire] is a page-turner in which, much like life, there are no easy answers and yet each step of the journey yields insight and hope. This work of heart must not be missed!

Melanie Faith

Creative Writing Teacher, Essayist & Poet.

Katie Steedly’s first-person piece [The Unspeakable Gift] is a riveting retelling of her participation in a National Institutes of Health study that aided her quest to come to grips with her life of living with a rare genetic disorder. Her writing is superb.

The Society of Professional Journalists

In recognition of receiving the Dateline Award for the Washingtonian Magazine essay, The Unspeakable Gift.

I thank you … It is the authenticity of your “class notes”; and it is the delicacy and skill with which you present the nuances of classroom life and the actuality of your students’ and fellow teachers’ lives.

Maxine Greene

Philosopher and Education Scholar

Enter your email here to receive Weekly Wide-Awake

back

Wanting to reform the world without discovering one’s true self is like trying to cover the world with leather to avoid the pain of walking on stones and thorns. It is much simpler to wear shoes. – The Hindu Sage, Ramana Maharshi

As Mark Nepo explains, we all spill soup. It is a strength to be able to say, “I am sorry. I spilled the soup.” Apologies can be tough. Making amends can be tough. Owning our stuff can be tough. Is it pride thing? Is it a blind spot thing? Is it a weakness thing? Not owning, at the end of the day, makes things harder. We have to work at hiding our faults. We don’t learn. We make the same mistakes. It gets complicated. Ultimately, it is easier to own our stuff from the beginning.

Here is what I know for sure about owning our stuff.

Owning is honest.

I value honesty just about as much as anything. I try to be honest, even when it might hurt. I encourage honesty in others. Honesty does not seem like a high bar for relationships. It seems pretty basic. When we accept responsibility, we are being profoundly honest.

There is strength in owning.

We get stronger when we own our stuff. I believe we have muscles that are specifically geared toward owning – muscles to recognize, acknowledge, apologize, and make amends. They are voluntary muscles that we choose to use. Like any kind of working out, the more we use them, the easier it gets.

Owning creates trust.

Trust is central in all relationships. In a world of social media hype, air brushed reality, and fast food intimacy, trust is hard to find. As we navigate angles and advantage, posture for survival, and build alliances rather than relationships, trust is hard to find. Dog eat dog makes trust, and by extension owning, tough. If owning creates trust, and trust is elemental, then we must own our stuff.

Owning requires work.

Owning is not a one time only deal. It must happen again and again, and be as natural as the sunrise or the seasons. It must not only happen with the easy stuff, like spilled soup, but with big stuff like damaged relationships, too. Owning the big stuff is where courage and integrity come in. The people I know who own their stuff are the most powerful, inside and out, people I know. They do the work. We can all do the work.

https://kitt.global/june-7-we-all-spill-soup-mark-nepo-the-book-of-awakening/