We are the lonely all together/ All together we’re all alone

From John Prine’s “We Are the Lonely“

I am learning that chaos leads to loneliness. Chaos distracts and upends. Chaos disorients and confuses. Chaos tears and separates. That is exactly how it isolates. Once isolated, we are alone. Let me explain. I have never felt more alone than I feel in crowds. (That is how I understand the idea that we can be all alone together.) That being said, I love cities. Living in cities over many years, I know the way noise and anonymity can breed isolation. The exact measure of a city’s energy — its pulse and vibrance and flow — can be the exact cause of separation and loneliness. Too many stories makes it easy for stories to get lost. Too many songs makes it impossible to hear the music. Too many people make it easy to lose our breath. All that can happen anywhere as stories, songs, and people are vulnerable in a world that does not pay attention.

In that way, the chaos that permeates so much of life right now has left us all alone. Deeply divided by our inability to appreciate that our basic survival depends upon our desire and capacity to celebrate and protect our interdependence. We sink or swim together as people and planet. Loneliness as a factor of life declaring winners and losers, a right or wrong answer, pleasure is unimportant or wrong, or that there is only so much pie to go around. Loneliness results as we scramble to chase the myth of individualism. Loneliness results when we refuse to be still and know.

Being all together in our loneliness in a gift. In being together, we can see one another and find comfort in our stories. In being together, we can be the spark for one another to get, and keep, our fires going. In being together, our love multiplies. I know it works like that.