“Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief she is beautiful.” — Sophia Loren

Dread

I waited months after getting engaged to shop for a wedding dress. I dreaded the thought of the wedding dress shopping. I did not want to go into a store surrounded by skinny twenty-somethings searching for a princess gown. I did not want to feel fat and old. I had put off shopping so that I could lose the weight I wanted to lose. I had watched way too many episodes of “Say Yes To The Dress” not to know that I needed a lot of time for a dress to be delivered. If I wanted a wedding dress I had to shop. Most women look forward to this day. I did not. I was not proud of how I was handling the situation. I was being petty, superficial, and flat out negative. Shopping with my mom was the only way it would be bearable, and perhaps even enjoyable. So, she traveled from Louisville to Cincinnati. I had scheduled appointments at 5 salons.

Dress Day

Our journey began at 9:00 in the morning. We entered the first salon. All the brides looked so young and skinny. I took a deep breath, again, again, and again. We were greeted by a helpful woman who had been a wedding dress consultant for many years. We pulled 7 or 8 dresses that were in the price range and style that interested us. We tried on one dress after the other. Dress after dress, nothing truly felt like my dress. I tried on veils “to finish each look” and never saw myself wearing the dress. The looks were close enough, and I began to relax into the whole thing, so I did not run screaming after the first few dresses. Mom helped me find center, quiet my noisy thoughts, and even start to feel beautiful. We kept going.

The Perfect Dress

When we saw my dress we knew. We walked down the stairs into an area filled with rows and rows of dresses and there it was. It had just arrived a few days before our shopping trip. If I had shopped earlier it would not have been there for us to find. Chantilly lace. Beaded flowers. Sleeveless. Fitted then flowing skirt. The dress was pinned and shaped and tucked and caressed into place to allow us to visualize what it would look like on my wedding day. I was given a veil, jeweled hair comb and ear rings, and a bouquet of red roses to hold. I forgot that nothing ever fits. I forgot that I had not lost weight. I forgot that I was older than most of the other brides. I forgot I was not supposed to enjoy this whole thing. Mom and I stood shedding tears of joy. In eight weeks the dress was delivered. I took it to a seamstress who worked magic in three fittings and made it truly mine.