Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us.

Pema Chodron

In When Things Fall Apart, Pema Chodron’s discusses several times in her life when things have fallen apart. She points out a truth that life is a continual series of falling apart and coming back together, falling apart and coming back together, and falling apart and coming back together. Falling apart can be the annihilation of all that we know and understand. She challenges us to stay tender and kind in the midst of falling apart. She describes falling apart as the testing the spiritual warrior needs to be awakened. In awakening, we find we are indestructible.

My Life Falling Apart

Things have fallen apart in my life at various points, too. I have lost and found jobs. I have lost and found relationships. I have lost and found my truth. I have lost and found my courage. I have lost and found my joy. I have lost and found my health. I am intimately aware that things fall apart and come back together. Sometimes, I have handled falling apart well. Other times, not so well. Her willingness to share her own moments of falling apart, and frame those moments as the healing marrow of life’s bones comforts me. Her vulnerability comforts me. I feel less isolated knowing I am not the only one who falls apart. I feel less scared knowing that falling apart is not permanent or fatal. I feel less angry knowing that falling apart does not require fault or blame. I feel less rigid knowing that falling apart is like a powerful ocean wave that carries us through suffering again, and again, and again.

Chodron encourages us:

“To stay with that shakiness – to stay with a broken heart, with a rumbling stomach, with the feeling of hopelessness and wanting to get revenge – that is the path of true awakening. Sticking with that uncertainty, getting the knack of relaxing in the midst of chaos, learning not to panic – this is the spiritual path … Getting the knack of catching ourselves, of gently and compassionately catching ourselves is the path of the warrior.”

Warriors Emerge

Our lives call for warriors to emerge. For healing and equanimity. For vulnerability and courage. Chodron explains: “Right now – in the very instant of groundlessness – is the seed of taking care of those who need our care and of discovering our goodness.” I like the idea that groundlessness is the seed of taking care. I like the idea that falling apart allows us to know we are indestructible. I like the idea our indestructible nature is a seed that can be cultivated. I like the idea that our indestructible nature is tied to loving kindness and goodness.