I pray for a world where we live in partnership rather than domination; where “man’s conquest of nature” is recognized as suicidal and sacrilegious; where power is no longer equated with the blade, but with the holy chalice: the ancient symbol of the power to give, nurture, enhance life. And I not only pray, but actively work, for the day when it will be so.

Riane Eisler

I met Shannon during October of 2004, registering voters in suburban Philadelphia. She invited me to check out her writing group, Words of the Spirit (WOS), back in DC, where we lived. I accepted, and my WOS journey began. Sitting in Janice’s book-filled and beautifully warm condo, which happened to be in my neighborhood, my first WOS meeting took place. An incredible group of people – usually 8 women – were there when we met twice a month. The chalice and the flame were there.

I quickly learned that these people take life by the horns. They were creative. They were compassionate. They were smart. They were funny. They were inspiring in a way that raised my game just through their friendships. They continue to be all that almost 20 years later – through weddings, graduations, births, deaths, and much more. The chalice and the flame are still here.

I have moved a lot throughout my adult life. During my last move, I found a folder in a random box effectively marked “Miscellaneous! Keep! Fragile!” It had three moving stickers on its side, noting it was a box that had traveled many miles (and had never been opened). The folder held the letters written to me by my WOS friends when I left DC. 

Some of my favorite quotes from their letters include: 

“18 Things I like about Katie … She totally rocks on Guitar Hero, especially While My Guitar Gently Weeps. She shows up. When it feels like nobody ever will. She is gutsy. She knows what she cares about and is passionate as hell about it.“

“Like the repeated passing of yarn through the widespread weave of a handmade blanket, the repetition and patience and mindfulness of each gathering freed us to create a colorful, warm, and ever-changing tapestry.“

“Pier One didn’t know it was selling chalices in the fall of 2001. But we transformed it. Didn’t we? Created it. Made it into a chalice. … The years of placing it in our center, lighting it, quieting our minds, writing week after week, and then year after year. I missed the exact moment it transformed. We imbued it with the holy. We made it sacred.”

“Sometimes we reinvent ourselves, and sometimes life forces that moment upon us: Who am I now? What do I do? We want to know what the next scene brings, what friends, what adventures, what joy or sorrow. The in between space, the margin in the album between the pictures of our lives, can be wrenching or numb. But then 10 years later, surrounded by different colours, we can look back with love because love finds us again.”

“Change – If any one word is the theme of tonight’s soulful gathering is change. … Perhaps it is a common attitude about the adventure that life is. … Each change, for the better or worse, has seemed ultimately a gift given of precious insight, donor of wisdom, wine for the pain of life.”

Revisiting these thoughts leaves no doubt why WOS is a part of my gratitude conversation. The brilliance and wisdom of my WOS sisters shine through their words. The chalice and the flame are still here. 

Gratitude and friendship boil down to a few things for me. The chalice and the flame symbolically help me sort it out. I am grateful for friendships that make life sacred. Friendships turn sadness into joy, fear into faith, and the common into magic. Just as the chalice was a centering force in our WOS meetings, friendship is a centering force in our lives. Deep friendships remain through change. Deep friendships remain through challenge. Deep friendships remain through time. Deep friendships remain when we leave this life. The flame speaks to the spirit of friendship that endures. The flame speaks to the heart of friendship that lights our way in dark times. The flame speaks to the holy nature of friendship, allowing for transformation and beauty beyond words. I am grateful for all that.

We lost our dear friend, and WOS member, Janice in April of 2020. I would be wrong not to hold her memory close in this conversation. She in is part of the chalice. She is part of the lame

As you read these conversations, keep a few things in mind. The truth contained in these conversations is evergreen. Gratitude is a choice. Gratitude is vital, like the air we breathe. Gratitude is ultimately about just plain kindness. The chalice and the flame are still with us. 

Gratutude and Friendship: The Chalice and the Flame